Friday, October 07, 2005

Endings, and more transitions....

Well, I got a kind of answer to prayer late this afternoon. There has been part of me that has said, "Dear God, let the insanity at this job-site end," even as I've been fearing the possibility of going without gainful employment. Well, The Temp Agency that Starts With "A" called today to say that their client is actually interested in bringing me on for the temp-to-permanent position as of October 17th. Given the fact that the current gig had every sign of ending October 15th, this is a very, very good thing.

I should be ecstatic, I guess, and I don't know why I'm not. Perhaps it's just that this existing gig has sucked the joy-glands dry; perhaps it's just the thought of leaving anything (even when it's been mostly miserable) has been such a serenity buster for me (fear of the unknown having been a deeply-rooted character defect of mine).

But part of me has struggled - even with the accounting portion of my current job - because I just didn't feel like I'd been given enough information to do my job right, and consequently never felt I did the best job I could have. And there are some niggling doubts that maybe my mind is just slowing down, that I'm just not as clever or as bright a bulb as I used to be. The fear is compounded a bit by the insinuation from a couple people I know that the future employer is known for having a fairly high turnover rate - and that I'd just be going from "annoying work site #1" to "son-of-annoying-work-site."

But we'll see. In the end, even an annoying job that actually is fractionally climate controlled (as opposed to working in a tropical rain-forest) with equipment that works more than half the time will be a significant step up from what I've been doing. And I think (though I'm not sure) that travel to the new site will be easier because of the chance to take the train into downtown, which would be great. (I have to admit that the drive from the way-South-Side to the West Side has started to get a bit old.

My friend Dave asked the question via email:
I was wondering - Have you asked God for a great job? Or to send some money your way? I know it sounds trite but I don't think most people simply ask God for what they want. Like "Daddy, would you please give me a great job or send some money."

Paul tells us to come boldly to the throne, and that we have not because we ask not (I think that's James) and if it's within his will he'll give it to us.

It's been working for me quite well in several areas.
And the answer, if I'm rigorously honest, is, "No, I haven't...primarily because I was somewhat unimpressed with the last couple answers I've gotten to prayers related to changing careers." In fact, it was praying for a change of career that brought me here in the first place... It's kind of felt like seeing thunder-clouds gathering, and not being entirely willing to pray the words, "Show me your power, Lord!" I'm not sure I want to see what's behind door number three, given what was behind doors 1 & 2....

I know there's some deeply erroneous belief and theology behind those kinds of thoughts. But hell, I never said they were rational thoughts, did I?....

For tonight, I think the best thing is to thank God for the end of one challenge, and to ask for strength for the next one, and go to bed while there's still several minutes before midnight.

4 comments:

Poor Mad Peter said...

Actually, i think there is some erroneous belief and theology behind asking God for a good job, etc etc. To me, it boils down to what our needs are (although it's not a stretch to see that you could use a good job, Steve...), and asking that they be met.

My take on that sort of prayer is that God knows what our needs are beyond our awareness of them, and it makes more sense to ask this than for something as specific as a job (or, down the road, a better job, and then a nicer car, and then a wife/husband, and then a better-looking wife/husband, and then...).

chris said...

sounds like you and I are praying similarly for one another, my friend.

I have been through a season of waiting and waiting and wondering (see Cheesecake Factory conversation) and now I am sent out to, um, nothing. Well, except God and his provision. The comedy is the peace in leaving versus the tension from staying.

Somehow I know this isn't it for either of us...if not just for the joy of one day looking back and saying, "I knew that wasn't all there was."

Keith Brenton said...

Is God's arm too short ...?

That's in Numbers. And Isaiah.

While I'm still on the job safari, I've got to believe I'm just an arms-length away from a great one, and the arm is His!

-- Keith

Nathan said...

Oh, there is so many direction I could go with this subject. I think I will stay with two. One is that God always provides your daily bread. As one job closes, the next opens without leaving you wanting. Yea!!

The next is if the new job has a history of turnover, yes it may be a crappy job, but it may not have been satisfying for the other folks. You never know, maybe it will be the perfect fit for you.

I am glad to here your ducks are lined up. Let the quaking begin.

Nathan