It's been a busy weekend in Hyde Park...I've haven't been in full "warp-core breach imminent" kind of panic, but enough to motivate me to get some serious packing done. A significant portion of the books and CD's have been gone through, and boxed up - a box of theology books will go to my home church in Kansas, and there will probably be more later. I'm just not ready to part with the others, just yet. Maybe moving them one more time will do the trick...
There is also a significant throwing-out component of this - the things I swore I'd get around to fixing, the notes and programs from workshops that I swore I'd put together into a document at some point...I'm trying to be brutal about this stuff. There are lots of memories going into the trash - but there are plenty of memories out ahead, on the horizon, I'm thinking...
But I have to admit - as I did several times over the weekend - that while I will probably grow to love my new location, that I'd really rather not do this. I've gotten quite skilled at whining about moving, and it's like everything else - the answer is, "Shut the hell up and just take the next indicated action. Mature people do this kind of thing all the time, cheerfully and happily. Try acting like one of them, maybe?...."
There is an old story - which I quoted sometime back - about the man who said he had two wolves inside him, one of light and good, and one of dark and evil. His son asked him, "Which wolf will be victorious in the end?" The father responded, "The one that I feed..." It's the same way with this. I can see this as seven days of hell to get through, or see it as a healthy transition to the next part of my life - whatever that is going to look like. But I won't be able to do anything until I make this change.
For now, we pray for rain, with thunderstorms looming on the horizon. Come Lord, and wash this place in your healing rain! (But wait until I get to work, please!)
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5 comments:
I understand. I've moved 18 times in 23 years. There is always some sadness about leaving the old place and some hope about the new one.
I pray that you have the energy that you need, the focus you need, the decisiveness you need.
I pray that the parade of memories is free of pain, and shows you how much you've grown... how much, like outgrowing a cocoon, you've outgrown this place you're in.
I pray that God is preparing your heart for the next place... and that you will feel free.
Hebrews 13:14 "For here we do not have an enduring city, but we are looking for the city that is to come."
Steve, Email me with whats up. I feel like I fell off the planet and missed something.
I love the story of the wolves.
Here's to transition, to throwing away yesterday's garbage, to cherishing the memories and to the prospect of new hopes and dreams fulfilled.
much peace and many prayers.
TK
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