Memories, farewells, and next steps

On Friday August 22nd, 2003, at about 12:30 AM, an aging Toyota Camry and a bright yellow 17-foot Hertz/Penske rental truck left Shawnee, KS headed for Chicago, carrying with them every item I owned and several truckloads worth of both dreams and memories.

It was a long drive to Chicago. It's been a much longer journey since I got here, even though (in many ways) I haven't gone nearly as far as I would have wanted...

I've always been a kind of anniversary-laden guy. Part of that habit has been the connection that I have with people at certain dates-and-times. But part of me also sees those anniversaries as mile-markers along the journey of life - times to review, to give thanks for gifts received, to make amends and ask forgiveness for sins of omission and comission, and to re-set my sails.

This weekend has been a lot of all three of those things.

I spent a significant part of the weekend digging through the boxes that are still stacked in Jamie's garage - sorting through some of the stuff I should have ditched before I moved, rearranging stuff that needs to come into the apartment next weekend, adding things to the take-to-KC boxes and the donate-this-stuff boxes. I probably moved a third or my belongings in one way or another this weekend, and it was hard work (despite the very moderate temperatures, for which I give much thanks!).

I found a bunch of pictures - from my youth, from my "old life," and from my former church and AA community. There were some beautiful memories, and some twinges of regrets - friends I've not kept in touch with and the like. I got pretty ruthless with my class notes from the two sets of seminary classes I've attended - tossed a bunch of stuff that I'd rationalized, "You'll want to look at this again, some day." The fact that I still kept some stuff is proof I probably wasn't ruthless enough - but I'm not ready to toss that stuff, just yet. And I got a bit more realistic about just how many books I should keep, and how many either need to go to my former church or to the seminary libraries.

This has been a weekend of farewells - notably of my friend Craig H., who is moving to LA with his wife both to work on his doctoral disseration and to be closer to their families. We had a beautiful cookout tonight down at a friend's absolutely-fabulous condo in the South Loop. The food was fantastic, the fellowship was fantastic - and it was a very enjoyable send-off for Craig and his wife Jackie.

In some way, I missed having that kind of closure with the seminary community - to have a farewell cookout, do the "so long, it's been good to know ya" thing. But in many ways, my relationships with folks at the seminary had been atrophying for a year - and by the time I left for Pullman, I was ready to be gone. Perhaps, once we get the apartment painted and nominally moved-into, I'll be able to invite those few with whom I've remained connected to a apartment warming party. Maybe in late September or early October, when it's cooler and prettier around here.

Tomorrow, I'm going to be going downtown to register for a set of potential jobs. It's stuff that I've done before (admittedly, 15 years ago) but it sounds (a) like fun and (b) a lot closer to commutability than my current position. It's scary - but I'm definitely in the "nothing ventured, nothing gained" mode, that way. I've also found a number of positions on the Chicago CraigsList site. This is yet another next-step kind of journey, one that would be far scarier if I hadn't just posted this about not being afraid.

Topics I need to write about...
- how Cindy Sheehan is shattering the silences about the war;
- how hard it is for us to really, really hear the Gospel;
- whether my choice to change jobs was the result of listening to God or Satan; and
- reflections on the ELCA churchwide meeting, and their choosing not to choose.

But for now, I need to be up at 5:30 to get ready to leave at 6:45 AM to be at the Accountemps office at 8 - so it's just bedtime. Peace, y'all...