Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Happy Valentine's Day...

There is much that a single guy could whine about on Valentine's Day. And, in years past, I have.

Not today.

A man was talking about the 2nd step of the 12-step recovery programs, which says that we came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity, he was asked, "So how do you know if you're sane?"

His first answer, "If you have to ask...." got him some laughs. But his second answer was one for the ages. He said that he believed sanity was the ability to work, play and love - successfully, and in balance.

I've come to realize that for me, Valentine's Day is not about couples, or candy, or dinner, or cards. It is about relationships - and it is about love.

I have no life-partner to romance - but I am rich in friendships and awash in love.

I'm celebrating that, today.


Michael said...

Your friend's analysis sounds a lot like what I heard as a seminarian attending a program for people working with addicts. The speaker said he did not find it helpful to argue with someone about whether or not he was an alcoholic. The question is: does you drinking cause difficulties for your work or your relationships. If so, you have a problem, whatever you want to call it.

As I recall, he said those two things -- work and relationships (love) -- were the touchstones for mental health according to Freud. IN a quarter century of spiritaul direction and pastoral counseling, I have often asked people to focus on those two issues for clues about how things were going in their lives. This was particularly helpful for very religious people who could get all scrupulous, looking for problems where none existed.

Happy Valentine's Day, by the way.

AnotherLostAngel said...


You are a good friend to many of us. Happy Valentines day!


Sanford said...

Inspiring and powerful post, Brother Steve.

When He wants you to know the love of a wife, He will present her. But you know Him and his Word, which is more than any wife can offer.

You speak with His voice, always speaking His truth and your own. Through your honesty, you are pointing the way to Him.

God bless you and your labor for Him in this blog. Keep preaching and teaching.

wesd said...

Beats the hell out of avaialable alternatives...

...most of which I've tried.

TKP said...

Hey there, it's been awhile since I've seen you around the GASB. Its illustrious president is now overseas, so you'll have to check it out yourself. I liked this post. So far I've never had a Valentine, but that's cool.

Tom Scharbach said...

I agree that keeping the three touchstones -- work, play, relationships -- in balance are the key to happiness.

I also agree that the quality of our friendships are as important as more intimate relationships. And that's a good thing, too, because close to half of all adult Americans are "single".

The question of whether we are "awash in love" is as much, it seems to me, a matter of attitude as fact -- we can look are our situations and grumble or rejoice, in most cases. I know people, as you probably do, who have every objective reason to feel "awash in love", but can't see beyond the fact that they aren't hooked up with anyone.

And a hat tip for the implicit recognition that the relationships those of us who cannot marry -- "life-partner" instead of "spouse" -- are of value, as well as marriages.

wilsonian said...

Crap. Perhaps sanity is overrated.

~m2~ said...

steve, i love you, and i am so not afraid to say it.

even if i am three days overdue (i was awash in some junk but am feeling restored and refreshed...did ya miss me?)

Im A Foto Nut said...

Truer words have never been spoken, dude!