Wednesday, June 08, 2005

An answer to many prayers...

It's an interesting thing about praying for healing or change. When we prayed for no one, no one got healed. When we prayed for many people, some people got healed, and some did not. So clearly, it made more sense to pray for everyone than for no one. (Nicky Gumbel on healing prayer, from the Alpha video on "How and Why Should We Pray?")

Good news/bad news - feeling once again like a Dickens novel ("the best of times...the worst of times"). Some alternatives for living situations are appearing - not as I would choose them, but they are appearing, nonetheless. It's like the old poster I saw years ago of the very small mouse looking up at the very large cat and saying, "You're not what I prayed for - but apparently you're the answer..."

Still, these things (humbling though they are) look like alternatives that could very well allow me to stay in Chicago (I know, it's a crazy idea, but remember who's talkin' here...) and allow me to regain some long-lost independence. Lots of open questions at this point, but right now, the answer that's staring me in the face looks better than I hoped for - certainly better than I would have prayed for.

Not everything has changed for the better - my employment situation is stil hanging fire, and I wish it wouldn't. But the good news is, at least one potential residence site doesn't care about whether I'm "officially employed" or not - his question was, "So - are you willing and able to pay the rent?" That, by itself, is an answer to a prayer I was unwilling to pray.

On my shelf is a thin volume by J.B. Phillips entitled Your God Is Too Small - and its title convicted me this evening, for sure. For now, I'm going to trust that God's plan for me is infinitely bigger - and better - than I could imagine...and I'll give thanks this day for a new day.

And while I'm at it, giving thanks - I am so grateful to each and every one of you who have commented, and emailed, over the last week. Some deeply philosophical, some closer to get-off-your-ass brusque, and more than a few emails accused me of "killing them softly with my song." All I can say to everyone who reached out is "Thank you - and thank God for you." It means more than you can know!

One of the side-effects of Einstein's theories of relativity proved that some seconds could last longer than others - and during parts of last week, time seemed to move so slowly that seconds were beating out about 15 to the hour. But the day looks better, today - even though it's 1:05 AM, and I need to be up in five short hours. So, off to bed.


Rick said...

Hey brother, Glad to see you in better spirits. Steve, I'm telling you, I sense that God is up to something in your life. Keep seeking, keep knocking, keep asking... you are being led by a God who loves you.

Michael said...

Years ago in the Kudzu comic strip, the minister, Will B. Dunn, was climbing into the pulpit, moaning and groaning about no one appreciating him and not knowing why he kept at it and so on and so on. He prayed for a sign, and a flash of lightning came. He was left holding a "No Parking" sign. "I don't know what it means," he said, "but I feel better."

I think we know what it means.

Hope the living space and the working situation unfold in a positive way for you.

I am not sure that an apartment as far south as you described to me can really be considered living in Chicago, though. ;)

Bar Bar A said...

Hey Steve!

JB Philips book sits on my bookshelf also and I have never read it...but just glancing at the title speaks volumes.

Sounds like things are looking up for you, I'm so glad.

Can I ask a personal question? Maybe I should email you...I am just wondering when and why you left the Catholic church? If you don't want to answer I understand...and if you rather answer to me personally you can email me.

Thanks...a former Catholic who is curious,

APN said...

It seems that you've stepped into a tenuous peace, one that I can totally appreciate since I live in one also. Too often, I wonder if I should be more active at changing my circumstances, but when nothing happens, I get really depressed and frustrated. Then, I try to "let go and let God", but my humanity rises up and gets depressed and frustrated when nothing happens. Gotta love those great Catch-22's.

But your situation is in my prayers because it's my situation in so many ways. Peace and more peace to you....